The "Real" Beginning

That day to me, was the official beginning of being an abused woman.

Are You Trapped in an Unhappy Marriage Because You Believe That You Can’t Afford to Leave?”

Though it wouldn't happen daily, or even weekly - it ALWAYS happened again. I think the record was 6 wks w/o him raising his hand to me.

When I got to work the next day, I had to figure out a way to call around for help w/o my co-workers knowing so I started chatting about how we never get to go to lunch together & how I thought it would be a good idea if we started because it wasn't any fun going out to lunch by myself day after day. The only time we got "company" from the office for lunch is if we wanted to go with one of our directors and ... well, they're our directors, ya know? lol. Tuesdays and Wednesdays were usually "slow" during lunch time and one secretary could handle it just fine so I proposed that we asked the "coolest" director, the director of our Prison Ministries dept., if she'd answer the phones for us that day so we could all go to lunch together. She agreed and off we went!

The hour passed quickly so when we got back to the office, I "volunteered" to watch the office the following day if the other 2 secretary's wanted to go together to lunch. I even let them know that if they wanted to take a little extra time "off the record", that I was fine with that as well.
Pretty slick, huh? I thought so :-)

I began by calling the Battered Woman's Shelter. What I found, was they're GREAT for getting a family out of an abusive situation and relocating them to a safe house. The problem was that I had no desire to uproot myself and my two daughters. I lived in a very nice rent controlled townhouse that I'd waited almost a year to get into, I had great neighbors, and quite honestly I wasn't about to give that up if I didn't have to. I filed them away in my mind as a "last resort" resource. I needed help to remove HIM from the home and that didn't fit into their specialty services. At the time, I don't know if they handled the restraining order referrals like they do now, but it wasn't mentioned in our phone call at that time.

I called Probation & Parole again. I once again was telling his parole officer of the events of the past week, and he interrupted me AGAIN letting me know that he couldn't discuss anything about him with me, only with a family member. I asked to speak to his supervisor. He transferred me to their voice mail. Grrr!


I called the District Attorney's office. I was told that for the price of $700, I could file a restraining order against him. SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS???? I told them I don't have, nor would I ever have that kind of money. They told me to call back when I did. Great! That was really helpful.

Off the subject..kinda.. a few years ago, the state had budget problems (surprise!!). During this time, they weren't paying their employees. As a matter of fact, they went almost a YEAR without a paycheck....I loved that year :-) I'm not saying that all state employees are bad people, or that their incapable of being an actual asset to the job, and I certainly didn't like knowing that the GOOD employees had to struggle financially through that year, etc. but I sure AM saying that for those that I dealt with who "withheld" information or services from me during this time - Ha-HA!

Are You Trapped in an Unhappy Marriage Because You Believe That You Can’t Afford to Leave?”