Broken, Yet Blessed

My boyfriend and I broke up just before he went into the Army. We parted as friends and he wrote me constantly telling me how much he still loved me and that one day, it would all work out and we'd be together. He was a nice guy that had never given me any reason to fear him. With him going into the Army and me being 16 - a minor, (he'd just turned 18), our relationship wasn't allowed by "Uncle Sam". I traveled to Fort Dix with his family for his graduation from boot camp because he was leaving the base in a few days for AIT. He asked if I was dating anyone yet and I told him no, that I was concentrating on my studies,work, & raising my daughter for now. I could tell Basic Training changed him. There was a darkness about him I'd never seen - it gave me chills to look into his eyes. I could see pain, rage, anger and resentment...he told me that basic brought back memories of abuse he'd suffered growing up with his dad, but that it was "nothing". He was still the same person I knew and that he was going to be fine. He gave me a hug and told me he'd write when he was settled in at his new base. We loaded up the car, and headed back to Louisiana.


His mom called me a few days later and asked me if I'd heard from him. I hadn't. She then said he's AWOL. He never made it to his new base and nobody could track him down. I was on my way to stay the weekend at my brother's house so I told her that if I heard anything from him, I'd make sure that he called her to tell her he was safe and sound.

I went to hang out with my friends and ended up watching movies all night w/the gang in Zachary getting back to my brother's house around 6am. I didn't know he'd called my house after I left, and that he'd also called my brother's house around 11pm while I was out. My sister-in-law let him know I was w/"the gang" (my regular routine) and that I'd be home by morning and that she was babysitting my daughter. This was before the days of Caller Id and Cellphones/Pagers.

I walked up to the back door and strangely it was locked. Just as I turned to walk to her window to knock on it and wake her up to let me in, the door flew open! There he was and if looks could kill, I'd have been dead on the spot. (i'm getting chills just thinking about it - that's a look I'll NEVER forget). He "sternly" said while walking towards me "Where the hell have you been???" I tried to remain calm as I could see he was not "himself" and told him I was w/my friends watching movies all night like we always do on Fridays, no big deal. He said he'd been waiting there for hours for me to get back. I told him I had no clue he was coming home and that if he'd told me, I'd have stayed in and waited for him. I then asked how he got there (denham springs) ---- he told me he walked from the airport (in baton rouge) so he could "surprise" me. I told him, "well, it worked! How about we go inside and talk about this?...speaking of which - How did you get inside?". He told me he broke into my nieces window. I took a step towards him (he was in the doorway) and he told me "Don't walk away from me, NOBODY walks away from me!". I tried to explain to him that I was walking TOWARDS him so we could go talk inside and I could put my stuff down. He placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back. I stumbled a bit. When I regained my composure he knocked my coke out of my hand, then ripped my purse strap off my arm and the nightmare began. He kept pushing and hitting me telling me over and over again that he was going to kill me because nobody walks away from him. I was screaming for help in between begging for him to stop, but everyone was sleeping inside so nobody could hear me. Every time I tried to run, he grabbed me, slamming me back down to the ground and wrapping his hands around my throat, I'd get loose and he'd do it again. I don't know how long this went on, but it felt like an eternity. The last time I got up and he grabbed me, I heard a sound like a branch slowly snapping off a tree trunk. I fell and realized that sound was my knee and I couldn't get up anymore. My body went limp as he straddled me. I figured I was dead anyway, so I looked him in the eye --I could see that "he" wasn't in there.. his eyes were dark, like black holes , i could see right thru them. Those beautiful blue eyes were replaced with a dark soul, like staring down Satan himself. I told him "Kill me now and get it over with, I can't take it any more, you win. I am a child of God and HE protects me, let His will be done". Now, I wasn't a "religious" person, but my mom always told me to say that phrase if I was ever attacked....

And by the Grace of God, I witnessed a miracle. I was still looking into his eyes and suddenly, they changed back into the deep blue oceans I was accustomed to seeing. Everything about him changed, he had no clue what I was doing on the ground, nor what he was doing on top of me. He got up and ran into the woods, never looking back leaving me broken, but blessed.

I know my brother found me when he came in from working the night shift, and that my mom came and took me to the hospital. From the time "he" left me there, until the time that an officer came to the hospital to take a report though, I have no actual memory of.

I can remember the "ordeal" as though it was yesterday. It changed my life forever in many ways. His life too I'm sure. I didn't press charges because I honestly believe that he's not an "abusive" person. I believe he snapped, and I believe that if he'd had gotten the counseling he needed after the abuse from his father, that none of this would have ever happened. Therefore, instead of doing time in Livingston Parish Prison, I gave him a chance. In exchange for not going to prison, he had to check himself into a mental health facility and get the help he needed.

...and no, we never dated/talked/etc after his treatment. Though I felt that I knew he wasn't by nature a violent man, it wasn't a chance I was going to take!

I'm happy to say today, that he's a productive member of society, married with children, & never raised his hand to another person after that incident.


Are You Trapped in an Unhappy Marriage Because You Believe That You Can’t Afford to Leave?”